No, that headline is not hyperbole. I really could end the war in Iraq, if only I had a million bucks or so to spend on the effort. Since I don’t have that kind of dough lying around, I’ll give you all the concept here in the hopes that some rich guy will pick up on it.
OK, here’s what you do, hypothetical rich guy. You get yourself booked on Larry King; once you’re on there, you show Jurassic Larry a check for a million dollars and you say,
“I will give this check to the Democratic Party on November 1 if they have forced the removal of at least some of the troops from Iraq by that date. I’m not talking about efforts that almost worked or fell a few votes short; I’m talking about them actually having started to do the job they were hired by the American public to do. If they haven’t managed to do that by November 1st, I’ll give the million to the Republicans instead.”
This offer would accomplish two things. First, you’re dangling the Big Carrot in front of the Democrats. Secondly, you’re threatening to help their opponents if they don’t get off their asses. I think the Democrats would go ape shit over this. Would they dare to accuse you of trying to blackmail them when all you’re doing is attempting to get them to do their fucking jobs?? I think most of the public would cheer you, especially if you made the point that, unlike most big donors to the political parties in this country, you’re not looking for quid pro quo; you aren’t asking them to deregulate your industry, build you a bridge to nowhere or rezone your property. The hypothetical rich guy should not be afraid of the “blackmail” charge; he should say, “Yeah, I AM blackmailing you. So what? Just do your fucking job, end this war and I give you the money.”
If I don’t hit the lottery in the next few weeks (and I admit that the odds on that happening are pretty low), I’m hoping someone like Larry Flynt will come along and take up this cause. I’m convinced that this offer would throw the current political season into chaos, good chaos. For once, someone with the public interest in mind would be openly speaking in the only language American politicians understand: CASH.
What I’d REALLY love to see is several rich people throwing a million each into the pot. Think the Democrats would be suddenly motivated to stop the excuse-making and actually do something to end the war if there was five or ten million dollars on the line? I do.
I swear to you that, if a miracle occurs and I actually do win the Powerball in the next several weeks, I will be putting my million bucks on the line. So, rich people, how serious are you really about ending the war? You in with me? Let’s stir the pot and change history for the better at the same time.