THE GOP IS THE UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER OF AMERICAN POLITICS

You’ve heard, of course, about the CNN/YouTube debate involving the Democratic candidates which aired this past Monday.  YouTube users submitted video questions for the Democrats to answer.  It was a cute gimmick, but apparently S*C*A*R*Y to the Republicans vying to become the Most Powerful Person on Earth.  They’re saying that they’re not sure they want to be part of such a spectacle.  You’ll forgive me if I wonder how a person who is intimidated by Joe Average Voter from Bumfuck, Arkansas is going to deal with Al Qaeda.

Remember the late Phil Hartman of Saturday Night Live as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer?  He was, as the name suggests, a caveman who was unfrozen from an iceberg and went on to become a trial lawyer.  Since he was a caveman, he kept referring (unconvincingly) to his fear of the modern world’s technology.  That’s the Republicans, without the “unconvincing” part.  As they said on Family Guy, the two symbols of the Republican Party are the elephant and an old, fat, white guy who is threatened by change.

OK, I am now going to let you in (sort of) on a secret.  I was actually on that CNN/YouTube debate.  Well, I kind of was and was NOT on the debate.  Near the top of the show, host Anderson Cooper aired very brief looks at some videos that didn’t make the cut.  In case you happen to have recorded the debate, I won’t tell you exactly which non-CNN-approved person I am (or why I was not approveable), but I AM seen on camera, although you don’t hear my voice.  It’s nice to see that CNN has standards; they aren’t going to allow anything silly on their air during a Presidential candidates’ debate.  Oh wait, what’s that?  A question about global warming from a SNOWMAN?  OK, now I’m confused.

Hey, maybe that’s what frightened the Republicans.  They think the talking snowman is real.

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