Is anyone else as sick of The Oprah as I am? I mean, seriously, what the fuck!
“‘I call my home the Promised Land because I get to live Dr. King’s
dream,’ Winfrey told her guests, a source inside recalled Winfrey
Who can forget Dr. King’s stirring words, “I have a dream that an unbelievably pompous black woman will get her own talk show and start interpreting the Universe and Everything In It to the rest of us poor humans.”
Apparently it’s not enough for The Oprah to explain the “Law of Attraction” to us all; now she has the difficult job of picking the next President of the United States. Those of you who were planning on voting for anyone other than Barack Obama can just consider the second Tuesday of November 2008 a free day off with no social obligations. The Oprah has chosen your next Commander In Chief for you.
I must have missed something. I mean, no sentient being alive in America at any time during the last 15 years or so can possibly not know that The Oprah is the hottest thing in daytime television. Somehow, though, I managed to miss the part where she became the Official Repository Of All Knowledge. When did she transmute from “that black chick who has that talk show every housewife seems to watch” to the goddamn Oracle of Fucking Delphi?
If you say that you respect her success in show business and her wealth, I’m right there with you. If you think that means her opinions on the affairs of the world are worth any more than those of the guy who runs the newsstand on the corner of 44th St. in Times Square, then you’re just going to have to explain that to me. I’m serious here; I just do NOT understand the Cult of Oprah. What mojo do you people think she possesses and why do you believe she has it?
I look at her and I see another show biz phony who has managed to climb the mountain to become the most successful talk show host. The cultists look at her and see Mother Teresa (the version before we found out she didn’t believe in God) crossed with the Blessed Virgin Mary, with maybe a little Joan of Arc thrown in.
This part really cracks me up too:
“At the grounds, guests parked, had their possessions searched and
boarded buses for the trip to Winfrey’s property about 8 miles away.
Recording devices and cameras were not allowed, and government-issued
photo IDs were compared to a guest list.”
Where the fuck does The Oprah live? Gitmo? Jesus H.W. Christ, paranoid much? I guess when you’re The Oprah, though, you just can’t be too careful. I mean, an Al Qaeda cell member–or Maury Povich—could be hiding in the bushes with a sniper scope-equipped rifle to take The Oprah out. Then where would mankind be?