I FINALLY UNDERSTAND “THE SECRET,” THE OPRAH…

“The Secret” is to palm your unprofitable and unnecessary TV network off on the suckers at NBC Universal for $925 million.

I remember when The Oprah and her as-seen-on-TV pals Marcy Carsey, Tom Werner and Caryn Mandabach started Oxygen.  Oh, it was going to be the Cutting Edge┬« of television, with those “interactive” elements everyone was all a’twitter about a few years back.  Viewers were going to “talk back” to the network, which would result in…well, something.  That something was going to change TV for the better and empower women and, you know, stuff.

According to this article, the 2007 version of Oxygen “broadcasts syndicated sitcoms such as “Mad About You” and “Roseanne,” as well as reality shows and movies geared to women.”  That’s, uh, not quite so cutting edge, huh?  I’m guessing that watching sitcoms doesn’t empower all that many women.  If viewers are talking back to Oxygen, they’re doing it by yelling at their TV sets (which is pretty much how I deal with TV, actually).

All that cutting edge “interactive” stuff went out the window sometime back when they canned the people who worked for the “cyberspace” part of Oxygen

It’s amusing enough to me that The Oprah (who has direct access to the Secrets of the Universe, after all, which I would imagine include how to run a TV network) has to sell her shitty TV network.  It’s even more amusing that the dopes at NBC Universal think that they can spin gold out of that pile of manure.  “Oh, you silly blogger,” they say, “we’re going to synergize Oxygen by cross-promoting it with iVillage, the female-oriented website we also own.”

Um, do I not remember reading a while back that iVillage was a big disappointment in terms of profitability?  Apparently, the geniuses at NBC Universal have found a way to add 0+0 and get something other than 0.  These Big Media Conglomerate execs remind me of the people I debate with on another website who keep telling me that chain letters aren’t illegal and really CAN make a profit for every participant.

I kind of understand Magical Thinking when it’s promoted by poor individuals who are hoping to get rich quick as a way out of their financial dilemma (I’m not defending it, mind you.  I just said I understand why a person in a bad situation would want to believe something like that).  It’s Extra Stupid, though, when execs at a billion-dollar publicly-traded corporation engage in financial voodoo.

If this is the level of thinking in the board room in Burbank, sell your NBC Universal stock.  Now.

NBC Universal buying Oxygen for $925M – Yahoo! News

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