Michael Eisner has found his “new Mickey Mouse.”  It’s Bazooka Joe, the guy on the little waxy comic strips in Bazooka bubble gum.  You know, the goofy-looking fuck with the striped shirt and the eyepatch spouting jokes you didn’t think were funny when you were 5.

How did this guy get to run Disney?  Did they have a “millionth customer through the turnstiles at Disneyland this season gets to be CEO” contest?

Hey Eisner, I have a great idea for the NEXT “new Mickey Mouse” after this one stiffs.  It’s a character called Man from Nantucket.  He has this amazing, uh, super power.  And he really enjoys it!  It makes him grin.  The kids are gonna LOVE this one, Mike!

Eisner has his new Mickey: It’s Bazooka Joe

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