The Cranky Media Guy

So Paris Celebretard Hilton gets out of jail and it is the top story everywhere since we long since solved all problems that Americans’ actually face and therefore have nothing else to think about.

One MSNBC script reader says no and tears up the script, as you can see here: MSNBC Video if you can stand to wade your way through the ultra mega #*@^ing stupid potty training commercial they make you sit through first.

It was funny. My first thought was that I wished some local news people would start refusing to read stories about smoking monkeys and American Idol… …Except, the handy nearby shredder tells you that this is a pre-planned bit. It’s still funny, but perhaps not in the way they intended. The mindless bullshit that gets reported instead of real news is what’s killing America. And these “news” people KNOW they are doing it, and are amused at the destruction they wreak upon the rest of us.

As a side note, some of my fellow “news” friends felt it necessary to remark that this was unprofessional conduct. To the “news” people, you see, professionalism is defined as shutting the %$&*# up and reading whatever the corporate masters put in front of you.

Yeah, that’s the definition of being a pro, all right, never think, never question, just follow orders. Isn’t that the definition of a good Nazi, too?

A few months ago, I posted about former Disney head Michael Eisner and his new online project.  Prom Queen has now ended its run of 80 (short) episodes and the results are in.  “Tens of thousands” of viewers. 

Wait, what was that?  Tens of thousands of viewers?  That’s what all the (alleged) excitement was about?  I could get an audience that size doing shadow puppets in Times Square.  And is that per episode or total for the 80 shows?  Given that the number is so vague, I think we can safely assume that it’s in the LOW tens of thousands.  If it wasn’t, they’d brag about an audience size of “nearly a hundred thousand.” 

Woody Allen once said, “90% of everything is shit.”  The Internet isn’t the Philosopher’s Stone; putting something on it doesn’t automatically transmute it into gold.

Small-Screen ‘Prom Queen’ Clicks With Online Audience - washingtonpost.com

From 1971 to 1979, I was a security guard for the Yankees, Mets and Madison Square Garden.  In the ballparks, I mostly worked right next to the home team dugouts.  It was never boring, often pretty exciting, occasionally dangerous.

I had to laugh when I read this story about blowhard Bill O’Reilly being kicked out of the Mets locker room.  If this had been “back in the day,” as the kids say, it could well have been me who would be escorting Loofah O’Felafel out.  And I would have enjoyed every moment of it.

O’Reilly a non-factor in Mets clubhouse

If you’ve read this blog for any time at all, you’ve seen me rant several times about the trend of covering mediocre techno gadgets in Swarovsky crystals (it’s ALWAYS Swarovsky crystals!).

The gadgets themselves, stripped of the crystals, are invariably mediocre and ridiculously over-priced.  The formula never changes.  Here is yet another example of the Worst P.R. Stunt Of All Time.  Wake me if you ever see anyone actually BUYING one of these things, will you?

Exclusive: Philips and Swarovski Launch Active Crystals Luxury Electronics in US - Gizmodo

The only difference I can see between this show and the typical local TV news show is that this show admits the anchor has no business sitting behind a news desk.

I see that the “star” of the show worked on WWE wrestling shows in the past.  For today’s TV “news” scene, that’s better training than having attended the Columbia School of Journalism.  “We’ll go to the local weather in a moment, but first here’s a Diva Pudding Match with anchor Lauren Jones.”

About time someone just came right out and admitted that TV “news” is a joke, a fake, a fraud. 

For years now, I’ve been predicting that local news show, at least in big markets, would eventually feature Guest Celebrity Anchors, like, say, Tom Cruise, from time to time, when said celebrity had a movie or other big project to promote.  I still think that’s going to happen, but this is the first logical step on the path to that.

Hey, Brian Williams, still want to lecture us all about how the “guy in his pajamas in his efficiency apartment in the Bronx” writing his blog is inferior to you Trained Journalmalists?  Well, actually, I can think of at least one way the blogger is inferior.  He probably doesn’t look good in a swimsuit.

Fox reality show roils East Texas town