iWon News – Hilton Sent Back to Jail in Hysterics

Poor Paris.  She’s all upset that the mean ol’ judge sent her to jail, then sent her BACK to jail when the nice sheriff let her out.  All she did was drive drunk without a valid license.  She cried and called for her Mommy in the courtroom.

Some think she had it coming.  Some think the authorities are treating her harshly because she’s a “celebrity” (albeit it one with no discernible talent).  I have the solution to this impass.  Redition the miserable spoiled little bitch.  You know, EXTRAORDINARY RENDITION, like we do to alleged terrorists.  They haven’t even been found guilty.  She has.

Think of the message shipping Paris Hilton to a country that tortures prisoners would send to the world. 

“We’re America!  We send spoiled heiresses to torture nations for DUI, be-yotch!  What do you think we’ll do to you if we find out you’re a terrorist?”

I can see Al Queda shaking in their boots already. 

Suit up, Paris.  You’re going for a plane ride.  No, don’t bother packing your makeup and passport.  You won’t need them where you’re going.