The Cranky Media Guy

So, Alan Greenspan, the former chairman of the Federal Reserve, has “written” a book in which he says that he believes the war in Iraq was really all about oil.  In another shocking revelation, he also says that water is wet.

Kidding aside, I’m getting really REALLY tired of these fucking Republicans leveling with the public about all the scummy shit that’s been done in the name of the American public AFTER they leave public serve and get a hefty publishing advance or are worried about how history will judge them.  Yes, I’m looking at you, Colin Powell.

Seriously, how do these people sleep at night, knowing that they could have told America what was going on but they kept their mouths shut because, at the time, it was better for their careers?

In a just world, all of these honest-only-when-it-pays fuckers would go on some kind of Scumbag Picnic, driven there in a rickety school bus along a road on the edge of a cliff high above the ocean by a meth addict overdue for his dose.  Oops, he missed the sharp curve.  Darn the luck!  Ah, but I digress.

Hey, Greenspan!  I realize it won’t be long now before the Icy Grip of Death grabs you by the balls and drags you into the grave but you might consider taking a moment out of your busy book-selling schedule to apologize to the people of America and the world for keeping your geriatric jaw shut about what you knew about the “Battle for Iraq” (as my local Fox affiliate’s news show calls it).  Doesn’t it ever bother you, Alan, when you sit down to cut into your nice filet mignon and you see all that blood on your hands?  All the book royalties in the world won’t make it go away.  Try washing some of it off with TRUTH, Old Man.

Alan Greenspan claims Iraq war was really for oil - Times Online

I don’t want to belabor what a bunch of shit Ayn Rand’s “philosophy” is/was.  I’ll just say that it’s an elaborate justification for being a selfish asshole–pretty much the perfect “philosophy” for the douchebags who infest the current administration, along with its cheerleaders in the mainstream media.

Oh, OK, I’ll go a little further with this.  Quoting from the article:

“Rand had a reputation for living for her own interest. She is said to
have seduced her most serious reader, Nathaniel Branden, when he was 24
or 25 and she was at least 50. Each was married to someone else. In
fact, Mr. Britting confirmed, they called their spouses to a meeting at
which the pair announced their intention to make the mentor-protégé
relationship a sexual one.”

Oh, so she was a cheating bitch.  Good role model there.  I’m sure her husband appreciated the objectivism that went into her decision to fuck a younger guy behind his back.

More:

“Last year, bookstores sold 150,000 copies of the book. It continues to hold appeal, even to a younger generation. Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, who was born in 1958, and John P. Mackey, the chief executive of Whole Foods, who was 3 when the book was published, have said they consider Rand crucial to their success.”

I’m not aware of anything terrible that Mark Cuban has done, but he does have a widespread reputation for being pretty fucking cuckoo.  Didn’t he get fined a huge amount of money for screaming at refs during a Mavericks game?

As for the guy who runs Whole Foods, that asshole got caught recently putting anonymous postings on a business-oriented web site’s message board disparaging his biggest competitor, saying that it was poorly run, etc.  Oh, funny story, he just BOUGHT that competitor.  What’s that, Randians?  Oh, he was just acting in his “rational self-interest,” not being a flaming douchebag who lied about his competition to lower its sale price?  Oh, no prob, then.

“The book’s hero, John Galt, also continues to live on. The subcontractor hired to demolish the former Deutsche Bank building,
which was damaged when the World Trade Center towers fell, was the John
Galt Corporation. It was removed from the job last month after a fire
at the building killed two firefighters.”

Yeah, turns out (not that the New York Times seemed to think that this was worth telling you in this article) that the John Galt Corporation never demolished anything before.  Hey, who needs experience when you have self-interest to service and powerful fellow Rand fans to grease the skids for you?

Know what?  I’ve changed my mind.  I take back “fuck Ayn Rand.”  Fuck Ayn Rand AND all the assholes who think that her elaborate rationalization of selfishness constitutes a “philosophy.” 

Ayn Rand’s Literature of Capitalism - New York Times

“Capgras Syndrome” is a mental illness that makes sufferers think that familiar people have been replaced by duplicates or look-alikes.  I must be suffering from it as I’ve been convinced for several years now that the President of the United States has been replaced by a deranged madman.

When a ‘Duplicate’ Family Moves In - New York Times

As things stand now, all porn producers, whether online or offline, have to keep on file affidavits that attest that all performers are over the age of 18.  That should suffice to prove that everyone is of age, right?

Not according to the Feds; now they’re saying that porn purveyors have to have personal information about the “stars” of their “films” on file.  It’s to protect the children, don’t you know?

Bullshit, says me.  I don’t care what you think about porn; if you don’t like it, don’t buy it.  My point is that this is NOT to protect anybody’s kid.  If the producers can demonstrate that the participants are of age, then there are no children involved and it’s none of the government’s concern beyond that point.  Period.  (We’re assuming here, of course, that everything is consensual.)

This is just more of the religion-driven anti-sex shit the GOP is famous for.  Over the last three decades or so, there have been at least two federal government-funded studies on the effects of porn.  Both of them concluded that porn has NO deleterious effect on a normal adult human.  Facts.  Who needs ‘em when we have perfectly good superstition to follow?

Any time someone gives you that, “It’s to protect the children” line, take a good, close look at what their agenda really is.  Most of the time they’re just out to fuck with you and your right to choose what entertainment you purchase.

FEDS’ PORN ULTIMATUM | By JANON FISHER | National News | US News | Current National News

George Orwell was only half-right.  This shit has gotten scary.  Now, if you frown at the goddamn airport, you may be targeted as a terrorist.  No, it’s not that you’re tired after driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic, it’s that you hate America and are going to try to blow something up.

Oh, and as for this “well, it helped us find some guy who may have been up to something sneaky” shit, uh, were there other people you jerked around who weren’t doing a damn thing?  “Well, it makes me feel safer,” you say?  Tell me that when it’s YOU who gets yanked out of line and taken to the back room for questioning because you made a frowny face in front of the Junior G-man who handled your baggage.

Here’s an idea: let’s round up every man of the age of puberty or older.  I mean, they’re all potential rapists, right?  How do we know who the real rapists may turn out to be?  If we wait for them to actually commit a crime, it’ll be too late. 

Oh, and while we’re at it, let’s lock up all the women, too.  I mean, any one of them could be a bank robber, if not today then possibly tomorrow. 

Don’t you dare tell me that what I’ve just proposed is absurd if you support this “facial profiling” bullshit.  It’s the same logic, just extended to include more people.  Once you’ve accepted the “logic” that everyone is under suspicion because of the actions of a few, why not go all the way and flat-out accuse everyone?  That includes you, of course.  What, did you think that your support of universal suspicion exempted you?  Sorry.  After all, wouldn’t a guilty person act like that to throw off suspicion of them?  What are you trying to hide?

Welcome to the Slippery Slope, Dude.

New airport agents check for danger in fliers’ facial expressions