The Cranky Media Guy

Remember just after 9/11 when they first proposed putting cameras in high-traffic areas and you said, “Well, if it makes us safer, I’m for it”?  Remember how civil libertarians said that this could lead to a Big Brother-type environment in which everyone was under constant surveillance and you said, “If you haven’t done anything wrong, what do you have to worry about?”  Remember how some people said that putting cameras everywhere wouldn’t guarantee safety but WOULD mean a bigger government which spied on everyone and you said they were paranoid?

Read this article which talks about the government wanting to implement cameras that can read your smallest facial movements and, based on your nose twitches, decide if you’re a “terrorist,” then tell me that this cameras-up-everyone’s-ass-for-”safety” bullshit still makes sense to you.

Studies by Paul Ekman, a psychologist at the University of California,
San Francisco, have revealed that involuntary expressions can often
betray someone’s true intentions. If you flash your teeth, lower your
eyebrows and wrinkle your nose for a fraction of a second while trying
to smile, you have just demonstrated the micro-expression for disgust.

And that, my friend, means you’re a radical Muslim, not that you just had an un-airconditioned cab ride to the airport in heavy traffic.  Why do you hate America, Mr. Nose Wrinkler?

I know I’m getting old ’cause I can remember when conservatives OPPOSED government intrusion like this. 

Give ‘em an inch and they’ll take your liberties…but at least the nose-wrinklers will be in custody.

Security firms working on devices to spot would-be terrorists in crowd

You’ve heard, of course, about the CNN/YouTube debate involving the Democratic candidates which aired this past Monday.  YouTube users submitted video questions for the Democrats to answer.  It was a cute gimmick, but apparently S*C*A*R*Y to the Republicans vying to become the Most Powerful Person on Earth.  They’re saying that they’re not sure they want to be part of such a spectacle.  You’ll forgive me if I wonder how a person who is intimidated by Joe Average Voter from Bumfuck, Arkansas is going to deal with Al Qaeda.

Remember the late Phil Hartman of Saturday Night Live as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer?  He was, as the name suggests, a caveman who was unfrozen from an iceberg and went on to become a trial lawyer.  Since he was a caveman, he kept referring (unconvincingly) to his fear of the modern world’s technology.  That’s the Republicans, without the “unconvincing” part.  As they said on Family Guy, the two symbols of the Republican Party are the elephant and an old, fat, white guy who is threatened by change.

OK, I am now going to let you in (sort of) on a secret.  I was actually on that CNN/YouTube debate.  Well, I kind of was and was NOT on the debate.  Near the top of the show, host Anderson Cooper aired very brief looks at some videos that didn’t make the cut.  In case you happen to have recorded the debate, I won’t tell you exactly which non-CNN-approved person I am (or why I was not approveable), but I AM seen on camera, although you don’t hear my voice.  It’s nice to see that CNN has standards; they aren’t going to allow anything silly on their air during a Presidential candidates’ debate.  Oh wait, what’s that?  A question about global warming from a SNOWMAN?  OK, now I’m confused.

Hey, maybe that’s what frightened the Republicans.  They think the talking snowman is real.

Apparently, once again I have to help the Democrats figure out how to club the shit out of the fucking Republicans.

OK, listen up, Congressional Democrats, I’m only going to say this once.  Even after nearly seven years of having your metaphorical lunch money figuratively stolen by Dick Cheney and Co. (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Rove Industries), you still haven’t gotten the fucking message.  Your political opponents are NOT nice people who are merely a little confused on the issues.  They’re fucking scumbags who are willing to send other people’s sons and daughters to fight and die in a Godforsaken sandpile in the Official Middle of Nowhere.

You Dems aren’t even playing the same game as the GOP.  You’re playing horseshoes while they’re playing hand grenades.

THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT REASON, THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR SUBPOENAS…THEY DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT PUBLIC OPINION ANYMORE! 

Here’s how to handle them.  Every single thing any of them touches in the course of their working day belongs to the government of the United States of America, which means the people of the U.S.  Every office, every desk IN every office and every phone on those desks belongs to US.  All you have to do is reallocate those resources, as you have every right to.

Send men to the West Wing of the White House, accompanies by armed guards, to literally pick up and remove the desks, phones, chairs, EVERYTHING from their fucking offices.  Remember that “man-sized safe” supposedly in Cheney’s office?  Send some broadbacked guys over to his office with some hand trucks and have them carry the fucking thing out to a truck and drive it up to Capitol Hill.  Leave nothing behind but a card table and a desk lamp.

I’m absolutely serious about this.  Not one single thing in those offices belongs to the current occupant.  The Bush administration is NOT going to respond to what reasonable public officeholders would.  It’s time to Think Outside The Box, as they say.  Strip these people of the trappings of the offices they love so much.  Turn Bush into a figurehead by taking away even the ballpoint pens he signs his illegal “signing statements” with.  You want a Constitutional Crisis, Fuckhead-in-Chief?  No problem.  To quote you, “Bring it on!”

You know, some political nut jobs can get away with being complete dicks, as we have noted, while people of a different persuasion had better keep their mouths shut if they want to be treated like a human being. That’s what some UK hotel banned a 9/11 SURVIVOR because of his political views… I shouldn’t even have to tell you what his views are. If he was a “we have to become a fascist state in order to survive” kind of guy, he’d probably be getting a discount on his room. But no, this 9/11 survivor thinks the US government may have been behind it all, so he’s not welcome.

While disgusting and a bunch of ultra-right-wing bullshit, it gave me an idea. All businesses have the “right to refuse service to anyone” as we can all see. It’s time the rest of us started using that power by showing that government criminals are not welcome in our world.

Just for starters: We MUST BAN SCOOTER LIBBY! If you have a business, put a poster on your door. Put a poster on your office. Put a poster on your cubicle. Scooter Libby is not welcome here.

No, I’m not fucking kidding. I’m tired of just rolling over and playing dead. I want businesses to Print out Libby’s picture, and tape it to their front doors: Scooter Libby is NOT WELCOME HERE.

If you survive 9/11 and blame the government, you’ll get banned. So let’s ban a criminal who was at least a party to committing treason against the United States of America.

George Bush has prevented Scooter Libby from being punished for his many crimes against the people of the United States, but we can apply a little street justice by letting him know that we know what he did to us, and that he isn’t welcome in our businesses.

Just do it! Show you are a real patriot instead of the usual FAKE kind that makes me wanna puke!

Getting started, here’s your NO SCOOTER poster. The linked file is suitable for printing:

Get Your “NO SCOOTER!” Poster Here!

The FTC has “decided” to abandon net neutrality (meaning, they think it is safe enough now to do what they planned all along) and instead to allow the giant telecom corporations the right to charge every person with a web site fees for letting people see that site. See the story at Crooks and Liars » FTC Abandons Net Neutrality.

Look, the bottom line is that big corporations already own all public media outlets and control everything you see and hear…except for the many Internet blogs that provide real public opinion outlets. Obviously, the Internet must die!

Oh, you’ll still get to read sites like CNN and Fox News, you’ll be able to shop at Sears.com and Amazon. You just won’t be reading small sites like this one anymore - be they left, right or in between. The FCC has decided that corporate opinions are the only opinions you should be allowed to read.

We knew this was coming because we knew the corporate interests have bought our government. It just makes us sad.