Monthly Archives: August 2007

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER “YOU TUBE KILLER”

Yup, another day, another exercise in wish fulfillment on the part of the Big Media Conglomerates.  This thing ain’t killing nothing, especially YouTube.  Someday, perhaps the bosses at the BMG’s will figure out that the appeal of YouTube is that it has millions of videos of things that their companies DON’T own and won’t allow on their “YouTube killer” sites.

This will be another piece-of-shit Internet site infested with the same crap that people by the millions are refusing to watch on broadcast and cable TV anymore.  In their endless quest for “synergy” (AKA wringing every possible buck out of the properties they own), the BMG’s will fill the Internet with the detritus of their TV networks and, to their shock and dismay, it will be rejected by most people.

I used to think that if you ran a big corporation, you must be intelligent and insightful.  After all, as my mother used to say to me when I’d act like a little smartass, “If you’re so smart, how come you aren’t rich?”   Then I got a look at the mouse brains that run the major networks.  I no longer think that rich people are particularly smart or insightful. 

As Mr. DeLeon, my boss at Macy’s (where I worked right after high school), used to say, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you blow.”  Metaphorically speaking, of course.  These guys climbed the TV Biz ladder because they know how to play the office politics game, not because they know Jack Shit about entertainment or TV.  They know even less about the Internet and what people want to see on it.  Run along, boys, and waste some more of your BMG’s money in the pursuit of synergy.  I’ll be here to say, “I told you so” when your “YouTube killer sites” fall on their asses.

http://www.reuters.com/article/industryNews/idUSWEN072120070829

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN

Of course, by “happy days,” I mean the days of child labor, like, say, the 1890’s.  Bravo, CBS/Viacom, for realizing the entertainment potential in taking a group of pre-teen kids, dropping them in a ghost town in New Mexico with no adult supervision and working them for up to 24 hours a day while videotaping the results.  That’s TV Gold, is what that is.

Young kids have had it too easy for too long.  America’s major corporations should take CBS‘ lead and put kids to work on assembly lines.  After all, they can afford to work for less money than adults as they don’t have any spouses or children to support.  Think of the savings to our nation’s employers!

Far from castigating CBS for this bold experiment, I think the network should be receiving some sort of Presidential award for Ingenuity.  This is the wave of the future of America and we have CBS and Les Moonves to thank for showing us the way.  This makes me want to have more kids so I can put them to work in eight or ten years.

Deadline Hollywood Daily ยป Les Moonves, A Mogul With No Conscience

NETWORKS CUTTING BACK ON SHITCOMS.

Ah, it’s the semi-annual “Death of Sit-coms” announcement.  I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the “sit-coms are dead” pronouncement since Cosby went off the air.  Actually, Cosby came on the air right after one of them.

Here’s the cycle:

*The networks put on a bunch of shitty, cookie cutter sit-coms.
*Those sit-coms fail to find a large audience.
*The networks cancel them.
*Network spokesmen announce that the audience is “tired” of sit-coms.

Then, a few years later, one of the networks puts together a sit-com built around someone the audience likes.  It becomes a hit and the Official Observers Of All Things TV-related announce the Rebirth Of The Sitcom.

Then the other networks rush into production eleventy-seven clones of that show.  They all suck and get canceled quickly, followed by a network executive announcing the Death Of The Sit-com yet again.  The Circle of Life.

Fall TV preview: Sitcoms no longer making the news – USATODAY.com