Monthly Archives: September 2007

AM I SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT “PAIN WEAPONS”?

Remember when sci-fi stuff was cool?  Remember when we naively thought that the future would be all about making life better for humanity?

Welcome to Reality®, Dude.  Apparently what the high-tech stuff of the near future really is, is “pain weapons” designed to break up riots.  I guess we’re not supposed to think about this, but it seems that the Big Brains among us see a future in which there are riots so large that the military, not the police, has to break them up.

“But, Cranky Media Guy,” you say, “the military says these pain weapons are intended for use in places like Iraq, not Detroit.”

To you I respond, “Uh, since when do you see the military using non-lethal weapons?  Don’t they normally just shoot people with the intent of killing them?  After all, dead enemies are gone forever, while stunned enemies just plot how to get you another day.

Sorry, I’m not buying the notion that these will not be deployed domestically, which makes me wonder what the Powers That Be think is going to cause American society to devolve into large-scale rioting.  I just hope we don’t all find out the answer to that question.

Run away the ray-gun is coming : We test US army’s new secret weapon.

OK, IS THIS THE GUY’S REAL NAME?

I’m not superstitious, but if I was the executive considering hiring Cameron Death for a job at my company, I suspect my pen hand would hesitate for just a moment before I signed the paperwork.

Does he EVER get over the snickering from the desk clerk every time he signs into a hotel?

“Here’s your key, Mr. Death. *snicker*  You’re in Room 308.  It’s non-smoking [the rest said under breath], not that it matters, I suppose.”

The Seattle Times: Brier Dudley’s blog

EMOTIONAL TRAIN WRECK GETS TV DEAL

You’ve seen, or at least heard of, Chris Crocker, the eyeliner-wearing young man who shot a YouTube video of himself going to pieces as he defends fellow human train wreck Britney Spears.

In a world based on logic, young Mr. Crocker’s emotional outburst would be watched by a number of people who would perhaps feel sorry for his unhingedness which might encourage his family to help him seek therapy.  Then in a few years, he would go on to have the successful career as a drag performer he’s almost certainly heading for.

This, however, is NOT a world based on logic, so Crocker has “inked” (as they say at Variety) a deal to star in some sort of “reality” TV show.  This is based on the fact that his video has generated nearly 8 million hits on YouTube

At the risk of disagreeing with the television professionals at 44 Blue Productions, I would like to humbly suggest that not everything which commands attention for a few seconds translates into “talent” which will make for a compelling TV show.

We all have, after all, slowed down to gawk at a fatal car crash on the highway at least once in our lives.  That wouldn’t translate into a TV show, would it?  Wait, now that I think about it, doesn’t Fox have several shows based on that on the air already?  OK, bad example.

How about this:  I’m willing to bet that if I put a video of my cat licking his privates on YouTube, it would generate a lot of hits.  Surely no one would put THAT on the air, right?  Damn it, I just gave several TV producers their next Great Idea, didn’t I?

OK, I give.  I have no point to make here.  America, meet Chris Crocker, your next TV Superstar.

Variety.com – ‘Britney’ guy may get TV gig