Monthly Archives: February 2009

A QUICK WORD WITH THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION

So, you say you don’t believe in evolution.  OK, here’s the deal: you’re a fucking moron.  Evolution is about the best proven theory in the history of science.  Eh, who needs FACTS though when you’ve got a perfectly good book in which snakes talk, people can fit two of every species on Earth onto an ark and sail around aimlessly and a broke-ass carpenter is the Son O’ God.

You don’t believe in evolution?  No problem.  In that case, you won’t be needing that new flu vaccine this year, freeing up the supply for the rest of us who use that grey matter between our ears.  I’ll explain that for you, Superstitious Dipshit.  See, they wouldn’t have to create new vaccines if the flu virus didn’t EVOLVE and become immune to the old ones. 

If you don’t believe in evolution, don’t you fucking DARE get the new updated vaccine or you’re the biggest fucking hypocrite walking upright.  Just suffer with the non-evolved flu you MUST believe in.  Sneeze your ass off and feel like shit for two weeks; taking that new vaccine would be just WRONG, you religiously hypnotized loser.

YOU’D NEVER SEE THE BUSH WHITE HOUSE SULLY ITSELF LIKE THIS

Oh the horror – the White House let semi-liberal talker Ed Schultz sit in on the Obama press conference. The shame is unbearable. Boy, this guy is SO right!  You’d never see a right wing talk show host at one of George Bush’s White House press conferences.  A male prostitute, sure, but not a right wing talk show host.  I mean, come on!  Decorum, people; does the word mean anything to you?

Oh yeah, um… there was that right-wing uber nut job talk show host Les Kinsolving at every White House press conference, asking questions like, “How can you stand the evil Democrats and their attempts to destroy America?” ..But you know, it wasn’t Rush so it doesn’t count. Nothing the far right does ever counts. EVER. When will we stupid reality-based people learn? – Politico’s Daily Anti-Obama rant.

WHO SAYS THE REPUBLICANS HAVE NO IDEAS?

Um, everyone?  When you resort to booking a plumber who isn’t a plumber who wants lower taxes although he doesn’t pay his taxes as your “guest speaker,” it’s pretty much over for your party.

I understand at their next meeting, they’re going to have Bob the Builder speak to them about infrastructure.

Joe The Plumber, Republican Strategist.

See also Joe “My Name Isn’t Really Joe and I’m Not Really A Plumber” Wurzelbacher as the Republican’s chief economic adviser.