The Cranky Media Guy

This is the kind of story that I might consider a hoax because it is so ridiculous. If only…

Well, I’ve always said that the modern incarnation of fascism wouldn’t come with a shouting dictator but with a smiley face and a corporate logo - and here we are: Terror toys: Scan-It X-Ray Machine the Ugly Face of 21st-Century Toys. Yep, for todays young-uns, nothing is more fun than violating the privacy of their fellow citizens. I understand that the brown shirts and armbands are sold separately, but it does come with pair of rubber gloves for the mandatory body cavity search.

What’s next, a home waterboarding kit?

And another one bites the dust.  Revver, one of the sites touted as a “You Tube killer,” is up for sale.  OK, no big deal, you say.  After all, Internet businesses are sold all the time.  Well, yeah, but shouldn’t a “You Tube killer” be going for a bit more than the price of an average-sized house in the Midwest?  Seriously, “between $300,000 and $500,000″ for this would-be giant killer?  How the (wanna be) mighty have fallen!

Yeah, you have to assume Revver’s debt, but still…  I’m tempted to sell the Double Cranky Ranch (goats and all) and buy the damn thing myself just for the Hell of it.  It’ll be Revver 2.0 where all videos involve a Mexican wrestling mask.

Video site Revver shopping itself for a song

I’m sure you read or saw on the TV news the other day the story about the suicide bombers in Iraq who had Down Syndrome.  OK, I’m calling bullshit on this one.

They were suicide bombers, right?  That means they blew themselves up.  Into teensy tiny bits.  So, how the hell does anyone know they had Down Syndrome?  You’d be lucky to be able to identify their gender after they went kaboom.

Every news outlet went with the Down Syndrome story as if it was Gospel, though.  Did you hear, read or see one single word expressing the slightest doubt about the Down Syndrome thing?  Nope, you didn’t.  It was reported as if it was a fact, like the Sun rising in the East.

Oh, but the crazy Iraqi terrorists are SO crazy that they used retarded people as suicide bombers.  Um, excuse me for asking a question, but why would they need to do that?  It doesn’t seem to me as if there’s any shortage of NON-retarded religious fanatic nutjobs over there to cause them to have to resort to Operation Strap Bombs to the Retards.

My theory is simple: someone in the American military or intelligence simply made up the Down Syndrome story.  It’s intended to make the crazy religious fanatic nutjobs look even crazier.  Remember the story during the first Gulf War about Iraqi soldiers taking newborn infants out of their incubators and thrown onto the floor?  Remember how the girl who told that story to Congress turned out to be the daughter of an ambassador and the whole story was fictitious?  Oh, you didn’t hear that second part?  Well, it’s correct, I’m not making it up.  The whole “throwing babies on the floor” thing was bullshit, designed to whip up anti-Iraqi fervor on the part of the American public.

I’m smelling the same big rat with this Down Syndrome suicide bomber story.  Now that a majority of the American public wants our troops to be brought home, it’s time to make the crazy Mohammad lovers look even crazier to get people to want our military to bomb the living shit out of them again.  I’m predicting some kind of ramped-up offensive on the part of the U.S. military any day now. 

Seriously, folks, isn’t it time we wised up to the fact that our government is currently run by people who will tell any lie about anyone at any time when it’s advantageous for them?  They aren’t nice people, even if they do wear little American flag lapel pins. 

My wife, while overhauling this website, pointed out to me that the last four things I posted were about those stupid Swarovsky crystals.

I hadn’t realized that; I don’t see the list of postings when I add one.  Anyway, I agree that I have more than made my “point” (assuming I ever had one, that is) about crystal-encrusted crap. 

OK, it’s time to move on.  No more crystals for me.  I have thoughts on a lot of other subjects; I guess I’ve just been too disgusted with things to articulate them in print.  I’m going to open the floodgates now…and may God have mercy on all our souls.

Do I even need to explain anymore that covering some mediocre piece of hardware with Swarovsky (it’s always Swarovsky) crystals does not immediately transform it into something good?

Oh, why do I even try?  They’re just going to keep making this shit, no matter what I (or anyone else) says.  I should just put a bullet into my skull and hope that I get buried in a Swarovsky crystal-covered casket.  Hey, maybe I can find Swarovsky crystal-encrusted bullets!  Very ironic way to go, wouldn’t you say?

Crystal-Encrusted Toaster -  Neiman Marcus