The Cranky Media Guy» Future

Microsoft wants to Squeeze Every Dime Out of You

Ab Irato — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 16:55:21 +0000

It’s a basic principle of corporate greed that if you, the consumer, have one dime to spend freely, they are doing something wrong. Microsoft, a standard practitioner of corporatism, is dedicated to making sure you’ll be a little poorer in the future:
Microsoft outlines vision of pay-as-you-go computing.

“Microsoft notes in the application that the end user could end up paying more for the computer, compared with the one-off cost entailed in the existing PC business model, but argues the user would benefit by having a PC with an extended ‘useful life’.”

I understand they’re working on another plan to have everyone’s paycheck directly deposited to a corporate funding pool. There, the money will be distributed to the corporations to which you’ve been assigned as a “consumer”… and if there’s any left, they might pass it along to you after deducting a reasonable fee for their wonderful service.

I AM SINGLEHANDEDLY PROTECTING AMERICA FROM TERRORISM

Uncle Bob Pagani — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 08:30:06 +0000

I am singlehandedly protecting America from the scourge of terrorism. Go ahead and cower in fear, I've got your back, Mr. and Mrs. USA.

I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS NOW THAT…

Uncle Bob Pagani — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 08:42:45 +0000

I’ve been saying for years now that these “non-lethal” weapons you keep reading and seeing news stories about are NOT for deployment against people who wear funny-looking costumes in some other country where everybody rides to work on a camel but for protesters right here in the good ol’ US. of A.

I started thinking like that a few years back when I saw a commercial for the U.S. Army which talked about our soldiers as “peacekeepers” and showed them riding around in a tank-like conveyance. Funny thing: the streets the tank-looking thing was moving along looked more like an American ghetto than some place full of furriners. A little bell went off in my head. Lo and behold, I just read the following:

Ray Gun for Taming America

PREPARING AMERICA’S CHILDREN FOR THEIR FUTURE LOW-PAYING JOBS

Uncle Bob Pagani — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 09:13:16 +0000

..and for the fascist future, too. Play Security Checkpoint. Read the comments on this product.

SUCK ON THAT, CHINA!

Uncle Bob Pagani — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 08:39:30 +0000

Hey, China! Yeah sure, your underage workers make shoes for Wal-Mart and poisoned Thomas the Tank Engine toys for the children of America, but OUR eight-year-olds are putting in their time in high-tech settings. Our march backwards to 19th Century Dickensian England is MUCH more advanced than yours. Nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah (“neener neener neener” [...]

AM I SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT “PAIN WEAPONS”?

Uncle Bob Pagani — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 20:45:58 +0000

Remember when sci-fi stuff was cool? Remember when we naively thought that the future would be all about making life better for humanity?

Welcome to Reality®, Dude. Apparently what the high-tech stuff of the near future really is, is “pain weapons” designed to break up riots. I guess we’re not supposed to think about this, but it seems that the Big Brains among us see a future in which there are riots so large that the military, not the police, has to break them up.

“But, Cranky Media Guy,” you say, “the military says these pain weapons are intended for use in places like Iraq, not Detroit.”

To you I respond, “Uh, since when do you see the military using non-lethal weapons? Don’t they normally just shoot people with the intent of killing them? After all, dead enemies are gone forever, while stunned enemies just plot how to get you another day.

Sorry, I’m not buying the notion that these will not be deployed domestically, which makes me wonder what the Powers That Be think is going to cause American society to devolve into large-scale rioting. I just hope we don’t all find out the answer to that question.

Run away the ray-gun is coming : We test US army’s new secret weapon.

FUCK AYN RAND! (IT WAS IN MY RATIONAL SELF-INTEREST TO SAY THAT)

Uncle Bob Pagani — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 07:31:14 +0000

I don’t want to belabor what a bunch of shit Ayn Rand’s “philosophy” is/was. I’ll just say that it’s an elaborate justification for being a selfish asshole–pretty much the perfect “philosophy” for the douchebags who infest the current administration, along with its cheerleaders in the mainstream media.

Oh, OK, I’ll go a little further with this. Quoting from the article:

“Rand had a reputation for living for her own interest. She is said to
have seduced her most serious reader, Nathaniel Branden, when he was 24
or 25 and she was at least 50. Each was married to someone else. In
fact, Mr. Britting confirmed, they called their spouses to a meeting at
which the pair announced their intention to make the mentor-protégé
relationship a sexual one.”

Oh, so she was a cheating bitch. Good role model there. I’m sure her husband appreciated the objectivism that went into her decision to fuck a younger guy behind his back.

“Last year, bookstores sold 150,000 copies of the book. It continues to hold appeal, even to a younger generation. Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, who was born in 1958, and John P. Mackey, the chief executive of Whole Foods, who was 3 when the book was published, have said they consider Rand crucial to their success.”

I’m not aware of anything terrible that Mark Cuban has done, but he does have a widespread reputation for being pretty fucking cuckoo. Didn’t he get fined a huge amount of money for screaming at refs during a Mavericks game?

As for the guy who runs Whole Foods, that asshole got caught recently putting anonymous postings on a business-oriented web site’s message board disparaging his biggest competitor, saying that it was poorly run, etc. Oh, funny story, he just BOUGHT that competitor. What’s that, Randians? Oh, he was just acting in his “rational self-interest,” not being a flaming douchebag who lied about his competition to lower its sale price? Oh, no prob, then.

“The book’s hero, John Galt, also continues to live on. The subcontractor hired to demolish the former Deutsche Bank building,
which was damaged when the World Trade Center towers fell, was the John
Galt Corporation. It was removed from the job last month after a fire
at the building killed two firefighters.”

Yeah, turns out (not that the New York Times seemed to think that this was worth telling you in this article) that the John Galt Corporation never demolished anything before. Hey, who needs experience when you have self-interest to service and powerful fellow Rand fans to grease the skids for you?

Know what? I’ve changed my mind. I take back “fuck Ayn Rand.” Fuck Ayn Rand AND all the assholes who think that her elaborate rationalization of selfishness constitutes a “philosophy.”

Ayn Rand’s Literature of Capitalism – New York Times