Tim Russert and the ultimate sacrifice
Where were you when you heard that Tim Russert died? That will be the defining question in years to come. Is there a man or woman alive in America today who doesn’t have the answer to that question indelibly burned into their brain?
I for one will never forget how the streets fell silent as news of the death of the host of the little-watched Sunday morning show Meet The Press reached the masses. Men spontaneously burst into flames as pregnant women went into labor from the shock of hearing that a millionaire public affairs program host passed away.
Russert gave so much in presiding over the show that Dick Cheney referred to as the best venue for Republicans to go on to promote their agenda, receiving only a paltry several million dollars a year in compensation. He was reluctant to talk about it, but his touch could cure leprosy. He regularly ordered his driver to take his limo through ghetto streets so he could throw hundred-dollar bills out the window to the less fortunate. During commercial breaks on Meet The Press, he suckled orphans with his ample man-breasts. Tim Russert was, in short, the finest human being who ever lived.
By presidential decree, starting in 2009, all work will cease at the exact minute when he died for one hour. Television stations will go dark and no commercial flights will be allowed over America’s skies on the anniversary of his death. In his honor, the month of June will be renamed Russert. Parents who name their children, male or female, “Tim” will receive a tax-free gift of five thousand dollars and government jobs from which they cannot be fired.
NBC/Universal has announced that it’s going to insure that “Access Hollywood“‘s website has an “NBC News standard of journalism.” I’d rather see NBC News have a National Enquirer standard of journalism. Seriously.
In Race for Gossip, TV Shows Turn to Blogs
OK, so NBC/Universal has this site, DotComedy.com which contains clips from the Tonight Show, Conan O’Brien and other of their funny properties. It’s looking like they’re going to shut it down because it didn’t reach enough people to make a dent in the online world.
This to me doesn’t bode well for the new NBC/Universal “YouTube killer” site, Hulu.com. If they couldn’t get into the fight with one proprietary playground, why do they think that another proprietary playground is going to get the job done? You know, once upon a time I used to think that if you had a hot shit jobs at one of the Big Media Conglomerates, you must be smart about the “industry.” I don’t think that anymore. I’ve seen too many of these multi-million-dollar FUBAR initiatives.
If I was working at Hulu.com, I’d keep my resume updated and ready to go. Just sayin’.
No Joke: NBC Expected to Shutter DotComedy
Where have you heard that Hulu.com, the “YouTube killer” site co-owned by NBC/Universal and Fox is going to be a huge stiff? Oh yeah, right here. This thing might as well be in a large crate with “DOA” spray-painted all over it. Apparently, executives at the Big Media Conglomerates haven’t gotten the memo that users want access to EVERYTHING, not just the crap that they own (and which is already available on TV and in theaters). Despite the notion that users will automatically flock to “professionally produced” content, the evidence shows that lots of people WANT to watch cats dancing on piano keyboards. If your site isn’t allowing access to that stuff right next to the latest Will Ferrell movie, you’re going down.
Hulu to Hurt Cable, Not Google – News & Analysis – Media/Entertainment – CBS – CMCSA