I used to think that Criss Angel was merely a magician, but this proves otherwise. I mean, would The Oprah really be fooled by a mere magic trick? I do NOT think so! Clearly, Mr. Angel has powers far beyond those of mortal men, accounting for The Oprah’s amazement. Far be it for me to mention that she actually thinks that her long-time “fiance” is heterosexual. No, for that would suggest that The Oprah is less than prescient.
I’ve talked many, many, TOO many, times about crappy techno-stuff covered in Swarovsky (it’s always Swarovsky) crystals. This crystal-encrusted “device,” however, really embodies the spirit of crystal-encrusting perfectly. Methinks THIS is the signal to start French Revolution Deux.
Michael Eisner has found his “new Mickey Mouse.” It’s Bazooka Joe, the guy on the little waxy comic strips in Bazooka bubble gum. You know, the goofy-looking fuck with the striped shirt and the eyepatch spouting jokes you didn’t think were funny when you were 5.
How did this guy get to run Disney? Did they have a “millionth customer through the turnstiles at Disneyland this season gets to be CEO” contest?
Hey Eisner, I have a great idea for the NEXT “new Mickey Mouse” after this one stiffs. It’s a character called Man from Nantucket. He has this amazing, uh, super power. And he really enjoys it! It makes him grin. The kids are gonna LOVE this one, Mike!
Up until now, I refused to believe the Chicken Littles among us who have been saying that the American dollar is in trouble. Reading this article, however, changed my mind. If a SUPERMODEL doesn’t want to be paid in dollars, clearly the end is nigh for America. I’m putting all my money in Kruggerands!