Tag Archives: Religion

ANYONE IN FLORIDA HAVE BALLS? THIS IS A SERIOUS OFFER!

The Florida state legislature is considering creating a special Jesus license plate for its state’s drivers.  ‘Cause, you know how oppressed Christians are in America.  I mean, if they weren’t, wouldn’t you see churches all over the place and wouldn’t churches have tax exemptions?  Uh, wait…

Anyway, this idea for the Dead Carpenter license plate is completely unconstitutional, but hey, why should THAT stop the Penis State from going through with it?

Since this stupidity probably will sail through the Florida legislature (what politician wants to be against the Son O’ God, after all, especially in the South?), here’s my offer:

Let’s see who has balls in Florida.  Apply for one of the special Jeezus plates with the license “NO GOD.”  If you get it, I’ll pay the state specialty license plate fee.  From what I see on the Florida DMV web site, the fees vary depending on the specific plate, but they tend to run in the $25 range.  OK, it’s not much of an incentive, perhaps, but hey, it won’t cost you anything extra to speak your mind in a way GUARANTEED to get attention.

If you apply for “NO GOD” and they won’t give it to you, I suspect the ACLU will have something to say about it.  Either way, you’ll be a news story, at least short-term.  OK, so who’s going to step up to the plate (nyuk nyuk) in Florida?

A QUICK WORD WITH THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION

So, you say you don’t believe in evolution.  OK, here’s the deal: you’re a fucking moron.  Evolution is about the best proven theory in the history of science.  Eh, who needs FACTS though when you’ve got a perfectly good book in which snakes talk, people can fit two of every species on Earth onto an ark and sail around aimlessly and a broke-ass carpenter is the Son O’ God.

You don’t believe in evolution?  No problem.  In that case, you won’t be needing that new flu vaccine this year, freeing up the supply for the rest of us who use that grey matter between our ears.  I’ll explain that for you, Superstitious Dipshit.  See, they wouldn’t have to create new vaccines if the flu virus didn’t EVOLVE and become immune to the old ones. 

If you don’t believe in evolution, don’t you fucking DARE get the new updated vaccine or you’re the biggest fucking hypocrite walking upright.  Just suffer with the non-evolved flu you MUST believe in.  Sneeze your ass off and feel like shit for two weeks; taking that new vaccine would be just WRONG, you religiously hypnotized loser.

SHE HEARS THINGS!

Remember some months back when a lady claimed that her daughter’s talking doll said, “Islam is the light”?  Well, now she’s hearing the same message in a Nintendo DS game.  Ok, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that this woman is fucking nuts.

As you read the story linked to below, notice the complete lack of skepticism.  It’s reported as if she is simply factually correct, with not a word to suggest that she HEARS SHIT THAT ISN’T THERE.

Occam’s Razor, people, Occam’s Razor.

Media uncritically repeats possibly schizophrenic claims

HEY, WHY SHOULD YOU ACTUALLY HAVE READ A BOOK BEFORE YOU VOTE TO BAN IT?

“Knowing stuff” is for sissies. This time it’s North Dakota instead of some southern state that’s out to ban books that might be “controversial.” The controversial book in this case? The 1994 best-selling book, “Midnight In The Garden Of Good and Evil.” None of school board members who voted to ban this book had actually read it, of course. We don’t know if these people even know HOW to read. And I presume that anyone in that school district is forbidden to see the movie as well.

Banning Books Still in Fashion.