Tag Archives: Television

iF YOU OWN ANY STOCK IN THIS “SPORT,” SELL!

This is further proof that a lot of “experts” don’t have Clue One. This guy was a Big Time executive at HBO and he’s putting money into this basketball/trampoline hybrid, which has already failed once. Here’s my newest Rule of Business: if it couldn’t increase the audience on Spike Friggin’ TV last time it was tried, it’s a bad idea.

Hey, Mr. Albrecht, where did you get the idea that people are tired of the already existing sports? Personally, I’m not hearing guys saying that they’re bored with football, baseball, basketball (the normal kind that doesn’t involve trampolines, that is), hockey, lacrosse and foosball. Even if there is some disaffected audience jonesing for a new sport, what makes you think what they want is B-ball players not good enough for the NBA bouncing on trampolines and crashing into each other?

But maybe I’m wrong and this “SlamBall” will become a huge hit. And maybe monkeys will fly out of my ass. I hope you got a solid gold parachute from HBO when they canned you after you beat your girlfriend in that Vegas parking lot while you were on a bender, Mr. Albrecht. You’re gonna need it.

Ex-HBO Executive Stakes His Comeback on SlamBall

NETWORKS CUTTING BACK ON SHITCOMS.

Ah, it’s the semi-annual “Death of Sit-coms” announcement.  I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the “sit-coms are dead” pronouncement since Cosby went off the air.  Actually, Cosby came on the air right after one of them.

Here’s the cycle:

*The networks put on a bunch of shitty, cookie cutter sit-coms.
*Those sit-coms fail to find a large audience.
*The networks cancel them.
*Network spokesmen announce that the audience is “tired” of sit-coms.

Then, a few years later, one of the networks puts together a sit-com built around someone the audience likes.  It becomes a hit and the Official Observers Of All Things TV-related announce the Rebirth Of The Sitcom.

Then the other networks rush into production eleventy-seven clones of that show.  They all suck and get canceled quickly, followed by a network executive announcing the Death Of The Sit-com yet again.  The Circle of Life.

Fall TV preview: Sitcoms no longer making the news – USATODAY.com

I KNOW HOW TO FIX TV

OK, I know how to fix TV.  Well, the problem with costs that some TV producers say they’re running into, anyway.  Yeah, yeah, I know you don’t believe me, you think I’m talking out my ass, but I swear I really do have a way that a producer could make an hour-long show that would cost scarcely more than a half-hour AND would be something that no one has ever seen on TV.

Am I going to tell it to you here?  Nope.  Why not?  Well, it’s something that any producer could do IF they thought of it, which they won’t.  The whole thing is in the concept, essentially.  You want to know how to make an hour of TV for little more than a half-hour costs you?  Pay me!

Trust me, this thing is genius in the right hands.