The Crank Tank Archive

‘..’Well, we’ve been through many iterations of this site and only the current one survived. That’s unfortunate, because the old sites had prescient commentary going back to 1997. However, not all of the old files were lost. We’ve indexed what we have….

I’d Like To See The Books, Please!
Worship This, MoFo!
Janet Reno – NUDE?
Geraldo and Fox News
Anyone Smell a Rat?
Giving Comfort To The Enemy
Conversion Of The Corporatists
What You Need is a Pay Cut!
The Last Straw, Part 2
When All Else Fails, Try Charm
Broadband, My Ass!
The Last Straw
The Awesome Power of Chaos
Where Do I Apply to Defect?
I’m A Professional Child
My Fantasy is Cool; Yours is Stupid
A Yankee in Boise, Idaho
This Is a Very Conservative Town
The Problem With Westerners
A Tale of Two Markets
God Help Me (Returning to Radio)
The Sleaziest Show on Earth
3 Cheers for Bureaucracy!
Fame & Blame
I Want Off The Island
Bubba Love & Charm-free Al
What I Want To Be When I Grow Up


My Offer Is On The Table
May The Best Showman Win
Senator Coverdell Arrives
in Hell

When Magazines Are Outlawed…

What Americans Know
Bad Predictions
Mr. Law & Order
Smile For The Camera, Comrade
Working Stiffs
The Empire Strikes Back
The Rich, They Are Stupid
to Me

We’re All Blue-Collar Now
I Love Big Merger!
WTO & The Death of Democracy
To Congress, You Suck!
Why Radio & TV Suck So

Down With NASDAQ!
Don’t Get Even, Get Mad!
Be Afraid, Be Very

We’re Viacom-ing to Get You!
Land Of the Free, Home of
the Stupid

Hype, Hype, Hooray!
My Generation Sucks – So Does

Ink-Stained Socialites
The Irrelevancy of the Constitution
The Honest-To-God Secret of

It’s The (Lopsided) Economy,

Merge THIS!

Selected Weasels

Chuck Hagel
David Blaine
Michael Jackson
Katherine Harris
Rabid Partisans
Roger Ailes
Jim Lehrer
Matt Drudge
Rush Limbaugh
Rick Lazio
Janet Reno
Rep. Billy Tauzin
Bob Levey
Anthony Summers
Vladimir Putin


John McCain
Joe Leiberman

Tom DeLay
L.A. Mayor Richard Riordan
The New York Times
Darva Conger
Mike Tyson
Sen. Bob Torricelli
Bill Gates
Nike’s Phil Knight
Rep. Charles Rangel
NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani
Sen. Bob Smith
Sen. Orrin Hatch
TV News
Rep. Mike Oxley