Category Archives: Pop Culture

Pop culture news and commentary, from Paris to iPhones and everything else that sucks. Read the Cranky Media Guy’s own unique and sometimes funny take on things that happening, or are about to happen.

BROWN SHIRTS AND ARMBANDS SOLD SEPARATELY

This is the kind of story that I might consider a hoax because it is so ridiculous. If only…

Well, I’ve always said that the modern incarnation of fascism wouldn’t come with a shouting dictator but with a smiley face and a corporate logo – and here we are: Terror toys: Scan-It X-Ray Machine the Ugly Face of 21st-Century Toys. Yep, for todays young-uns, nothing is more fun than violating the privacy of their fellow citizens. I understand that the brown shirts and armbands are sold separately, but it does come with pair of rubber gloves for the mandatory body cavity search.

What’s next, a home waterboarding kit?

POUR SOME BLEACH INTO MY EYES, NOW!

Do I even need to explain anymore that covering some mediocre piece of hardware with Swarovsky (it’s always Swarovsky) crystals does not immediately transform it into something good?

Oh, why do I even try?  They’re just going to keep making this shit, no matter what I (or anyone else) says.  I should just put a bullet into my skull and hope that I get buried in a Swarovsky crystal-covered casket.  Hey, maybe I can find Swarovsky crystal-encrusted bullets!  Very ironic way to go, wouldn’t you say?

Crystal-Encrusted Toaster –  Neiman Marcus

ANGELINA JOLIE IS MUCH BETTER THAN THAT OLD HAG, MOTHER TERESA. BY “BETTER,” I MEAN “HOTTER” OF COURSE.

What, like there’s some OTHER kind of “better?”  Just going by lippage, Angie has the old nun beat beyond belief.  Don’t believe me?  Look me in the eyes and tell me you’ve ever, even once, fantasized about Mother Teresa┬« giving you a BJ.  By the way, if you actually have fantasized about getting oral sex from Mother Teresa┬«, please stop reading this and leap out the nearest window (assuming you’re at least five stories about the street), you sick bastard.  The woman had “Mother” in her NAME, for Chrissakes!
The Worst Celebrity Profile Ever Written