The Hardcore Moralist Without Morals

by The Cranky Media Guy

Rudy Giuliani

I was feeling a little homesick for New York a few minutes ago, so I went to a website that has several cameras in Times Square.  As it was 4:30 in the morning, there weren't very many people on the street.  God knows I didn't see any hookers; thanks to Sheriff Rudy, they've all been driven into the Hudson River, like St. Patrick did with the snakes in Ireland.

Funny thing about Republicans like Giuliani and Newt Gingrich--they seem to take the Ten Commandments very literally.  When it says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," they figure it means thou and not them.  For people who feign moral outrage when others cheat, they don't seem to have a big problem doing it themselves. 

Yup, Mr. Tough On Crime Mayor has gotten caught with his pants down (and that's not a pretty thing to contemplate).  It was hardly a secret in Gotham that Mr. and Mrs. Giuliani lead separate lives, but he could have had the class to be at least a little bit discreet about his affairs.  He didn't have to march in parades with his concubine next to him, thereby rubbing his infidelity in his wife's face, did he? 

His total lack of discretion is what makes his outburst at reporters asking him about his failing marriage the other day so amusingly hypocritical.  You can't surprise your wife by announcing to the world at a press conference that you're going to seek a legal separation and then turn around and act upset because the newspapers are interested in your private life.  It's a little late in the game to get touchy, Rudy.  The good ship Moral Indignation sailed and you weren't onboard, Buddy.

The Big Question now is whether or not Rudy will stay in the Senate race.  Some people, including me, think he'll use his prostate cancer as the excuse to bail.  He's still playing it cutesy, though.  Just this past Monday, he called a press conference to announce that he hasn't decided what to do yet.  Yup, he made the reporters come to City Hall just so he could tell them he had nothing to say.  Kind of odd for a guy who just wants the press to leave him alone, wouldn't you say?  Ah, but that's how weasels operate.  "Do as I say, not as I do" is the Weasel Creed.  And Rudy, my boy, you are the Weasel of the Week.