Proof You Really Can be Too Rich
by The Cranky Media Guy
"Waaa!" says Bill, the poor
little rich boy. "No one understands me. The
mean judge says I have to break up my nice company into two
parts. I don't wanna! Waaa!"
If the Microsoft defendants were half as
smart as they were arrogant, they could have won their
anti-trust case. They weren't though, and it's gonna
cost them. As they say in the former Soviet Union,
"We're being punished for being too
successful" is the mantra around Redmond these days and
the assholes on the right, who never saw a monopoly they
didn't want to give a big, sloppy, wet kiss to, chant it right
along with Gates' Heaven's Gaters. Trouble is, it
doesn't bear examination.
The Microsofties walked into the federal
court room cocky, convinced that they could bluff the judge
who, they assumed, wouldn't know an operating system from a
hard drive. As a result, they fucked up in spectacular
fashion. They let the Feds see the memos that vowed to
run Netscape out of business; they had the gonads to introduce
as evidence videotape--not once, but twice--that had
obvious edits. When the judge asked them to produce a
copy of Windows without Internet Explorer, they whipped up a
version that couldn't even boot up. Gee, I wonder why
the judge said that Microsoft "wasn't acting in good
faith". Go figure, huh?
Microsoft was the Keystone Kops of
defendants, falling on their collective ass time after
time. The judge went out of his way, again and again, to
give them the opportunity to work out a deal with the Feds,
but they were too arrogant to see the life preserver he was
trying to throw to them.
Now, even after he rightfully lost the
case, Bill still can't see where he went wrong. He's
still on the offensive, taking out full-page ads in the
Washington Post and USA Today, whining about how Microsoft is
being punished for being "innovators". It is
to laugh. Ask any real computer geek you know about
that; he or she will tell you that Microsoft couldn't innovate
a cardboard box. For years now, their strategy has been
to let others lead; then, when they see what's successful in
the market, they either blatantly copy it or they buy the
business that created it. Remember, until only a few
years ago, Gates was saying that the Internet wasn't where the
money in computing was going to be. Good call, Einstein!
Bill, you aren't being punished because
you're "too successful". You're being punished
because you're an arrogant, megalomaniac monopolist. You
tried to bullshit a federal judge and he didn't like it.
Be a man, you sniveling little shit and take your medicine.
Bust up Microsoft into two parts?
Screw that! Smash 'em 'til they look like a jigsaw
puzzle that got knocked off the kitchen table. Let them
serve as a lesson to the next corporate bastard who wants to
shove his product down the public's gullet by any means
Hey Gates, you whiner, know that
ridiculously big Jetsons-style appliance-equipped house you've
been building since about the 12th Century? Go sit in
the corner in one of the rooms of your cyber-Xanadu and don't
come out until you're ready to apologize for what you've done
to the consumers, you friggin' weasel.