"You have the right to writhe on the ground
by The Cranky Media Guy
If you're an aging white guy and you fear the "loss of your
manhood", as they used to say in the old patent medicine ads,
you can get your doctor to prescribe some Viagra. In short
order, your pencil will have lead in it again and you and the Missus
will be having marital relations once more.
Apparently, pills don't cut it for aging big city mayors,
though. They seem to need to open an remote-controlled
industrial-size can of Whoop Ass to feel like Real Men. Thank
God for aging hippies, One Worlders, crypto Commies and
anarchists. Without 'em, who would these impotent old farts
take the rage they feel at their unresponsive willies out on?
You'd think Richard Riordan, mayor of Los Angeles, would have
enough to worry about, with a World Class police brutality scandal
ongoing and every two-square-block area of town wanting to secede
and become its own city. Nope. Mayor Dick found time in
his hectic schedule to warn the protestors who will be in the City
of Angels for next month's Democratic convention that they better
tow the line while on the Double R Ranch.
"The police...and other law enforcement agencies will be
confronted with demonstrators trained in violence, and the police
will have to be tough. The image of a police officer arresting
a young person...may not play well on television, but there may be
no other choice. It is important that city leaders not play
into the hands of anarchists. We must not handcuff police in
their use of non-lethal weapons, such as rubber bullets and pepper
spray, when necessary."
Um, "demonstrators trained in violence"? Would
you like to back that up with some evidence, Mr. Mayor? If you
go to websites like indymedia.org, you'll see that some of the
groups that plan on protesting the conventions are offering
workshops on passive resistance and the usual leftie stuff.
Who's doing this training in violence, pray tell? Oh, I'm
sorry. I interrupted you, didn't I? Well, continue, by
"Rogue demonstrators and anarchists whose sole intent is
violent disruption...will try to make the police look unnecessarily
brutal in counteracting them [by writhing in pain when they're shot
with rubber bullets and pepper spray?]. If you watch the
videos of the Seattle riots, you will see that the rioters were not
angry unionists or environmentalists. They were white,
middle-class young adults who coldly and methodically destroyed
property with various types of weapons. It was no coincidence
that so many of these rioters were swinging tire irons."
Hey, Mayor, know what you'd also see by watching the videos of
the Seattle riots? That there were 40,000 to 50,000 protestors
in the city and only about two dozen people were involved in
destructive behavior. The rest of the crowd was largely
composed of angry unionists and environmentalists. But you
don't really care about them, do you? Just thinking
about your cops shooting off those rubber bullets has a kind of
Freudian effect on Little Richard, doesn't it? Makes you feel
like a man again, huh, Mayor?
Be honest--if not with the public, at least with yourself; you're
trying to provoke a riot, aren't you? Why else would
you make a statement like, "We must not allow Pershing Square
to be used for demonstrations," when you know full well that
its the only open public space in all of downtown L.A.? Where
are they supposed to protest, Anaheim?
Let's face it, Mr. Mayor. You're an aging old coot who's
staring mortality in the face and the best way you can think of to
send one last shot of testosterone into your blood stream is to
cheer from the sidelines as your municipal army "serves and
protects" by kicking a little hippie ass. How dare these
people be young and vital when you're rounding the clubhouse turn
and heading into the home stretch on a horse named Dirt Nap!
You'll teach them to come into your city and riot, even if
you have to start the damn thing yourself!
You could have called a meeting with the leaders of some
of the protest groups and tried to work out a compromise that would
protect their right to peaceful assembly while insuring that the
city suffered as little disruption as possible. Reasonable
negotiation wouldn't make you feel like you had a rigid digit again,
though, would it, Richie? It's ever so much more fun to hide
behind your goon squad as you threaten to crack skulls. It's
also what's made you the Weasel of the Week. (In case you're
wondering, your counterpart in Philadelphia, the host city for the
Republican convention, will probably be joining you in the Hall of
Shame soon. The smart money says that, unless someone else
does something incredibly weasely, that tough-talkin', Constitution-shreddin'
Broad Street bully is probably next week's recipient.)