"Government of, by, and for the rich"
by The Cranky Media Guy
|Rep. Tom DeLay
OK, so our American democracy is in free fall, nobody under the
age of 70 thinks that voting is worth the effort anymore and the
average citizen thinks that Congress is a wholly-owned subsidiary of
AOL-TimeWarner. Who can turn this around? We need a man
on a white horse, a man of uncommon perception, a visionary.
We need...Tom DeLay?
Yup, at a time when even Stevie Wonder could see that our elected
representatives are bought and paid for by Big Business, only one
man has the chutzpah to argue in favor of eliminating all
restrictions on campaign contributions. How, you ask,
could anyone defend taking the brakes off a system that's
already careening down the hill and heading toward a cliff?
Ah, you see, that's where the DeLay genius comes into play.
According to Tommy Boy, it isn't about buying Congress (as damn
near everyone can plainly see); it's a "freedom of speech"
issue. See, if we limit how much big corporations can donate
to election campaigns, we're stifling their ability to express their
opinions. Now do you get it? All Exxon and Viacom
and Johnson & Johnson want is the same chance to tell their side
of the story that you SOB's have. Would you damn citizens please
stop hogging the ad space on the op-ed page of the New York Times
and let a poor multinational corporation have a chance to speak its
mind for once!
"More precisely described, what we know today as 'campaign
finance reform' is simply an effort to have the government regulate
and ration political discourse in America." Wow, that's a
mouthful, isn't it? A mouthful of horseshit, but a mouthful
Um, is there any rational person who thinks that TimeWarner
doesn't already have ample opportunity or resources to make its
positions on various issues known? They own the most popular
magazines in the country, as well as a load of cable TV systems
around the country; they can run all the ads espousing their
positions that they want. Yeah, let's spend Congress' time
protecting multi-billion dollar corporations' "freedom of
speech". Puh-friggin'-leeze! Hey, here's a
radical idea--how about working to protect the rights of the
people who elected you?
Campaign finance reform isn't about "rationing political
discourse", shithead-- sorry, Congressman Shithead--it's
about stopping the wealthy from BUYING LEGISLATORS! You can
tie a pretty bow on that steaming pile of manure you're trying to
sell, Douchbag, but most of us will still see it for what it
is--making excuses for corruption on an unprecedented scale.
Hey, DeLay, if you're gonna be a friggin' whore, at least be man
enough to admit it and stop hiding behind disingenuous idiotic
interpretations of the First Amendment. Even the girls who
knock on the doors of the big rigs at truck stops in the dead of
night are more honest about what they do for a living than you
are. If you ask 'em, they'll admit they're low-rent hookers;
they don't call themselves "roving oral services
Because you aren't man enough to look America in the eye and say,
"I want to level with you. I don't know the First
Amendment from first base. All I know is that I have a primo
gig. I make a hundred and a half a year with about 20 weeks of
vacation a year and all the sneaky little perks I can handle," and
because you aced the mayor of Philadelphia out of the
"honor" this week, you, my lying, corrupt friend, are the
Weasel of the Week.