"Is Weasel Kosher?"
by The Cranky Media Guy
Jeez, why don't the Democrats make like Wile E. Coyote and jump
off the cliff right now and spare us all having to wait for the
inevitable plummet in November.
First, they give us the original Hollow Man, Al Gore, as
the presidential nominee. This guy is about as substantial as
a dandelion in a windstorm. He had to pay someone to tell
him what to wear, for God's sake! Yeah, that's the guy I
want in the Oval Office with his finger near the Big Red
Button. "Uh, Naomi, can you come in here for a
moment? It seems the Iraqis have launched a missile attack
against us. Do you think I should retaliate? Oh, and
what shirt should I wear for the press conference?"
Let's face it, the guy's a doof, a rich boy who grew up in a
Washington hotel. Expecting to get leadership out of Gore is
like ordering veal cordon bleu at KFC--it ain't gonna happen.
As you've undoubtedly figured out by now, politics isn't about
actually doing anything for the public that elects you; it's about
winning the damn election by any means necessary. To blunt the
expected "post-convention bounce" the Republicans were
expected to get this week, Gore announced his choice for a running
I was actually excited when I heard that Gore had chosen Joseph
Lieberman. Wow, the big stiff actually chose a Jew to run with
him! How courageous, I thought. The tingle I felt lasted
about five nanoseconds until I realized that Lieberman was about the
closest thing to a Republican Gore could find. I suspect that,
if you looked close, you'd find that his yarmulke has a button that,
when pressed, transforms the thing, Inspector Gadget-like, into one
of those stupid elephant hats that were so popular in Philly last
See, Lieberman is one of those guys who likes to periodically
lecture Hollywood on the movies it makes. You know, the whole
violent-movies-are-turning- our-kids-into-monsters thing.
Don't get me wrong here; like everybody else over 40, I too think
that most movies today are manure transferred to celluloid, but I
recognize that it's a case of supply and demand. You get the
crap you get because people support it. I've checked the
police logs; there are no reported cases of anyone being forced at
gunpoint to go see Scary Movie. Right or wrong, people like
that kind of entertainment, so Hollywood continues to make it.
Guys like Lieberman are smart enough to understand this.
They're also smart enough to know that wagging your finger in
Hollywood's face is a way to get elected. No voter wants to be
told that they're just a bad parent who lets their kid watch
mind-numbing crap without supervision. You don't get to the
Senate by saying stuff like that. You get there by telling
people that the Big Bad Hollywood Bogeyman is making them let
their kids watch garbage.
Isn't this whole act pretty Dan Quayle circa 1992? Has the
whole world of American politics been put into one of those big
laundromat driers set on "tumble"? You've got
Republicans talking like tree-huggers and putting every black face
they can find on camera and Democrats doing the old "Hollywood
must clean up its act" song and dance. This has to
be the Bizarro World of politics. Is acting like some low-rent
community theater version of the Republican party of the late
80's-early 90's really a winning strategy for the Democrats?
I'm confused. My head hurts.
Here's the real hypocrisy in selecting Lieberman: Clinton and
Gore have been gobbling up all that nice Hollywood political
donation money for about eight years now. Remember the Parents
Music Resource Council, from back in '85? Al and Tipper
were prime movers behind that little attempt at show-biz
censorship. After he got in the White House, though, Al
strapped on the metaphorical knee pads to crawl down Sunset
Boulevard to ask forgiveness from the Left Coast crowd. As
they are by nature forgiving (and virulently anti-Republican), they
let bygones be bygones and continued to write big ol' checks to the
It's gonna be fun watching Al try to continue to schmooze them,
now that he's signed an authentic Culture Warrior to the team as
back-up quarterback. Will Lieberman be viewed as an
Uncle Moe (the Jewish version of an Uncle Tom) by the studio crowd?
It's nice to see that, as we approach the 21st Century (yes, I'm
one of those who says it starts next January 1st), the Democratic
party finally had the guts to nominate a Jew for the V.P.
spot. Too bad they couldn't find one who was more mensch and