"Remember that stuff I said about reform?
by The Cranky Media Guy
A few months ago I saw a documentary on TV about two sisters from
Pennsylvania who are joined at the head. They can't be
separated because of the brain tissue they share, so they will spend
their entire lives connected. Even those conjoined sisters
don't seem as inseparable as John McCain and his new best friend,
George W. Bush.
Did you see the pictures the other day of McCain and Bush at
Johnnie's place in Arizona? The two were making nice-nice for
the TV cameras. I pictured them later that night, sitting on
the floor, eating s'mores and Rice Krispie Treats in their jammies,
doing each other's hair, playing with eye shadow and talking about
boys. Dubya never did have much in the 'nad department, but
sheesh, somebody done made off with the McCain family jewels!
Remember a few months ago when Candidate McCain was talking about
Dubya like he was the AntiChrist's evil twin? Well, forget
it. This is the new, kindler, gentler, wussier John
McCain. He's just happy to be in the orbit of Planet
Nepotism. Campaign finance reform? Oh, you mean you took
that seriously? Can't you tell when a guy's kidding?
I mean, you've gotta have a sense of humor to survive five years in
the Hanoi Hilton.
One thing that signals that McCain might not be entirely
comfortable with his new role as Robin to George W.'s Batman is the
tight smile he always seems to lapse into when you see the two of
them together. It's the smile of a man lying face down on the
examining table watching his new proctologist putting KY Jelly on
his prosthetic hook hand.
Giveaway Numero Dos is McCain's posture. I don't want to
say that John is stiff when he's around Dubya, but he looks like he
should be asking Geppetto to make him a real boy. You can make
the mouth say the words, John, but the body language speaks volumes.
Bottom line, Johnny Boy, is that there's a lot of people pissed
off at you because they really believed you meant what you said
about being a different kind of politician, one really interested in
changing things. You had millions of Democrats ready to cross
party lines to vote for you. Now you have your arm around that
empty suit named Bush, trying to convince those same voters that
there's something inside it. No matter what gig you've been
promised in the coming New World Order, insincerity doesn't look
good on you, John. It doesn't bring out your eyes.
Don't ever bother trying to get your old good-guy image back
either, John. "Fool me once, shame on you" and all
that. Once we thought you were a straight shooter. Now
we see you for what you really are: Dubya's conjoined weasel.