[This offer has been in effect for several days now. As yet I
have not heard from Ms. Reno. I do know that several people from
her former place of employment, the Department of Justice, have
visited this site and read this open letter. If you are at
Justice and have contact with the former Attorney General, please feel
free to tell her about this offer and ask her to contact me via the
email link below. Also, effective February 1, the offer is
increased to $750,000.]
An Open Letter to Janet Reno
Dear Ms. Reno;
After eight years, you are leaving the office of Attorney General of the United States. During your tenure in office, you have endured considerable criticism. You have been vilified, ridiculed and forced to testify before hostile congressional
committees. You have been lampooned on the late-night sketch comedy and talk shows. Without taking a position on your actions while in office as America's top law enforcement agent, it occurs to
me that such constant criticism must have taken a toll on your self-esteem.
I believe I have a solution. Now that you will once again be a private
citizen and free from the constraints of public office, I would like to offer you the sum of $500,000 to pose for a series of fully nude photos. You have
my assurance that the pictures will be tasteful, and will be taken by a prominent art photographer.
The $500,000 fee will be in the form of a cashier's check and will be paid upon the completion of the photo shoot, in exchange for all rights to the photos.
It is my belief that this offer will enable you to make a clean break from
your past as, arguably, the most criticized woman in America. This is your opportunity, Ms. Reno, to show the world your feminine, sensitive side. The world wants to see the
real you, the Janet Reno within.
Don't let this opportunity for personal freedom and expression to escape you,
Ms. Reno. You may write to email@example.com. I will be eagerly
awaiting your response.