Other Stuff

by Will 'The Cranky Music Man' Golightly

My beloved University of North Carolina Tar Heels are the best team in the nation. I know that has nothing to do with music, but bear with me and I promise I'll figure out a transition into today's topic. I'm still basking in the afterglow of Carolina's win on Duke's homecourt and finally getting a chance to relax. You see, the last several weeks I've been mounting a one-man campaign to convince anyone who would listen (and many who would not) that Duke has no inside game, thus if their outside shots don't fall they are no better than any team in the top 25. I'm sure there are plenty of nonbelievers out there still, but I'm happy for now. I've gotten all of the gloating out of my system these last few days, and now I'm ready to get down to the business at hand.

I am not the only person with a case of hubris it seems. There is a new rash of musicians who have decided that their talent is so versatile (or their agents so influencial) that the tiny world of making records is not enough to contain them. R&B youngster Aaliyah has been busy lately. After acting in Romeo Must Die and finishing shooting Queen of the Damned, an upcoming vampire movie, she has gotten a part in the next two installments of The Matrix franchise. Though I'm not usually in favor of such crossovers, anything that keeps Keanu Reeves on the big screen and out of the recording studio with his "band" Dogstar suits me just fine.

If you're like me, right now you are thinking, "Yeah, that's all fine and dandy, but what about former rap megastar MC Hammer?" I'm glad you asked. At this very moment he is preparing a movie for VH1 all about his fascinating life. From his upbringing in Oakland, CA, to his brief stardom and descent to earth, he of the big, shiny pants thinks the world needs to hear his story. Well, VH1 has already done a Behind The Music on him, so I guess what he really thinks is that the world needs to hear his story with someone pretending to be Hammer. Regardless, it will be one more step in VH1's evolution from boring, old-people's MTV to the musical equivalent of Nick at Night.

There's one last tidbit I'd like to mention before I go back to my little world of Tar-Heel-blue-colored smugness: Jennifer Lopez is a big star. Apparently I wasn't paying attention, but she has become the brightest star in both music's and film's universes. For the last week of January, Lopez had both the number one album and movie in the States. SoundScan started tracking record sales a decade ago, replacing the old system of "I swear this record sold a bunch of copies." Since then, Lopez is the first person ever to top both charts at the same time. Her album J.Lo. debuted at number one, as did her movie The Wedding Planner. I am blameless, though. The only CD I've spent my hard-earned cash on in weeks is the new Frank Black album, and I don't see movies anymore. I've given up on them because one day I realized I couldn't even remember the last time I saw a decent one. But when all is said and done, Jennifer Lopez must be doing something right. You go, girl, because the bottom will fall out any day now. No pun intended.

I'd like to end with one final note: Shane "The Best Player in America" Battier is in for a big surprise when he gets to the NBA and discovers that the referees there do not kiss his ass. And I promise next week I will stick to music. Unless UNC loses to Wake Forest.