All-Stars of All Sorts

by Will 'The Cranky Music Man' Golightly

At this very moment the East All-Stars are being spanked by the West. I suppose that's not a surprise; the West is the better conference and looks like it will be for a while. But what do I care? Jerry Stackhouse just passed the ball over Rasheed Wallace's head to teammate Vince Carter, and I'm in Tar Heel heaven right now. The University of North Carolina is still the number one team in America, if you're curious.

Speaking of the premiere colleges in the land, Bono is addressing the students at Harvard this June. He has been tapped to speak to the seniors on the day before graduation. Last year's speaker was Conan O'Brian, whose speech was posted on the official website of his late night show. Not only was it very funny, but it didn't once mention Third World debt relief. Which is more difficult than it sounds. Every week I fight that same battle right here on crankymediaguy.com. In exchange for speaking at the ceremony he will be made an honorary member of the graduating class. That's pretty good for a guy whose reputation is based on sunglasses and giant prop lemons.

A much better basis for pop megastardomhood is a big ol' endorsement deal, and that's exactly what Britney Spears has got. Starting with March 25th's Academy Awards broadcast, prepare to see Britney in a rash of commercials for Pepsi. The most amazing thing, really, is that the majority of press I've seen about this news item concentrates on the passing of the pop baton from one generation of Pepsi spokefolks to another. Yes, Michael Jackson and Madonna are the two biggest pop stars Pepsi has bagged yet. But let's take a closer look. Madonna's first ad for the cola giant was the world premiere of her "Like a Prayer" video. It was aired once by Pepsi on broadcast television. They saw the video for the first time during the prime time premiere and were not at all pleased with what they found. And Michael Jackson? During the filming of a commercial for Pepsi his hair caught fire, causing him to wear one glove, turn white, pay too much attention to kids, and just generally go batty. So Britney beware.