Motor City Madness

by Will 'The Cranky Music Man' Golightly

Barbra Streisand is calling it quits. Her final concert appearances are set for New York and Los Angeles, in the near future. I know what you are thinking: either "Is she still alive?" or "I thought she said her New Year’s Eve concert was her last". This time, she promises, she really means it.

Another peculiar news item is the Creed vs. Limp Bizkit feud. In a grade-school-style taunting match rarely seen outside of the WWF, Fred Durst (singer for Limp Bizkit) and some of the Creed camp are telling whichever reporters are nearby how lame the other party is. It has reached a new low, with Creed releasing a statement to the press about how lame Fred Durst is, not concerning any libelous remarks made by him, but about his shabby treatment of a younger band Durst was courting on behalf of his record label, Interscope. I’m embarrassed even to tell you about it.

Yet none of these are our top story this week. The man of the hour is actually the Nuge, the Motor City Madman, Ted Nugent himself. Once again, I assure you he is still alive, and opening for Kiss on their "Farewell TourÔ ". There is one date that he won’t be attending, however. Kiss and the Nuge (and Skid Row, but I’ll spare you news of them) are scheduled to play the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion in Houston, on August 22. Nugent’s problem is that the Pavilion doesn’t want him there.

Last time he played there, sporting a tee shirt emblazoned with the Confederate flag, Nugent made some ill-considered comments about Latinos. If they are unwilling or unable to learn the English language, he proposed, they should be escorted out of this country and back to the country from whence they came (or something to that effect, with considerably more "colorful" language). His onstage banter was also peppered with the word "faggot", which I’m not familiar with; I get the impression it’s not for mixed company.

The League of United Latin American Citizens was not pleased, and they are boycotting. The Cynthia, etc., Pavilion decided that they didn’t need to ban him. Instead they gave him a list of rules he had to follow in order to perform. On the 16^th of this month, the Nuge sent an email to the Houston Chronicle insisting he would perform: "The crybabies lose. I win," he declared. The next day it was announced he would not be on the bill on the evening of August 22^nd.

Is Ted Nugent an ass-head? Yes. Is this a first amendment issue? Who the hell cares? Apparently the blah blah blah Pavilion is a non-profit arena, which I find suspicious. Then again, Nugent claimed on Behind the Music that he was addicted to sex, which I also find very suspicious. If you actually care about Kiss, or the Nuge, or (heaven forbid) Skid Row, I find that exceptionally suspicious. But at least Kiss isn’t going the Barbra Streisand route and charging $500,000 per ticket. I, for one, am not sad to see these two dinosaurs hang up their high heels and retire from the road.