Tax Evasion,
Copyright Infringement,
And the Senate

by Will 'The Cranky Music Man' Golightly

For one hundred dollars, the answer is: "These people are, or are about to, be poked in the eye by the sharp stick of government." Who are Pavarotti, Napster, and Pat DiNizio?

Yes, the Italian meatball himself has got into a bit of a bind. It seems the Italian government disagrees with Mr. Pavarotti’s accountants over how much he owes in taxes from ten years ago. They have settled the dispute, with the big fella cutting a check to L’ Uomo for just over $12 million. Of course, it won’t be in dollars; our currency just looks nicer on the page. In lire, he’s paying 25,000,000,000. That’s a lot of _______. (Fill in the blank with the name of your favorite junk food.)

The bad boys of music—or at least of waiting-thirty-minutes-to-download-a-song-that-isn’t-as-good-as-you-remember-it—are drifting further up the proverbial creek with no paddle in sight. Napster’s defense against the charge of copyright infringement made by the Recording Industry Association of America (that’s the RIAA to you, buster) isn’t working. Apparently the "Our users aren’t making money off these songs they’re trading, though we’re counting the days until we can go public" defense didn’t fly. A judge granted the RIAA’s request for a preliminary injunction against Napster. In a nutshell, Napster was ordered shut down by midnight Friday, July 28.

People seem to think that this is the end for Napster, as we know it. Although a last minute stay kept the shut down at bay for a short time, nobody really thinks Napster can win. Therefore, speculation is rampant about what they will do to appease the RIAA. Charge a monthly fee? Close down entirely? Charge per download? Start smoking and die a slow, horrible death? Stay tuned here (or, frankly, anywhere) to hear the results.

They say, "If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em." Pavarotti and Napster might have been wise to follow Pat DiNizio’s lead and run for Senate. "You mean Pat DiNizio, frontman for college rock underachievers The Smithereens, who had a hit with that song that’s called something like ‘A Girl Like You’?" Yes.

He is running for the US Senate seat for New Jersey—get this—on the Reform Party ticket. That’s right, the Reform Party: home of political dilettantes and amateurs of every stripe. They make the Libertarians look as organized as the US Marine Corps. DiNizio is in favor of Reform bigwig Donald Trump’s tax plan. In a nutshell, it’s a one-time 14% "wealth tax" (and if you can hear those two words and not get suspicious, you too may be a Reform Party-er). This tax is levied on everyone worth OVER $10 million. In exchange, they would eliminate the Inheritance Tax. In theory, this would knock out the National debt in one fell swoop. It sounds nice on paper, if a bit loopy, but the Reformies forget the most important aspect of government: it can’t do anything right.

DiNizio is pro-2^nd amendment and pro-school vouchers. He is, of course, for Campaign Finance Reform, the biggest load of hot air floating around the upcoming elections. Even more suspicious than the "wealth tax", however, is his policy of "limited immigration". The fact that he never really explains what this means on his homepage, does not make me feel any better. Nor does the fact that he seems to go to the same barbershop as Jesse Ventura.