Bowling For Trouble

by Will 'The Cranky Music Man' Golightly

August is just starting, and already it’s been a fiercely litigious summer. Legal woes abound, and I’m not just talking about Napster. But since I can’t go three sentences without mentioning them, we’ll start there.

Friday before last, Napster was given the order to shut down. The end was nigh, especially since no one realistically believes Napster can survive an injunction to cease operations. But at the last second the US Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit granted Napster’s request for a stay. Zorro himself couldn’t have done it better. So the file-sharing company is still alive, if barely. It looks like they will be spending the next several months in court, dodging one bullet after another.

What’s worse than having your own hard work on someone else’s website? Having your home phone number posted. Duran Duran gave a phone number on their site for merchandise information. Surprisingly, people actually bothered to look. The problem was that the number belonged to some poor slob who couldn’t care less about the Durans. His phone rang off the hook for weeks, and now he claims to have a sleeping disorder and high blood pressure BECAUSE HIS PHONE RANG TOO MUCH. He had a special number that he wasn’t willing to change, and he claims the Durans were negligent for putting the wrong number up and not removing it soon enough. I don’t mind bilking pop stars, but at least have the good taste to pick someone whose career isn’t comatose.

James Brown, petty offender #1, is actually NOT in trouble. But he almost was. A utility worker was called to Brown’s house to check out a power-outage. The fellow claims JB shouted at him and threatened him with a steak knife. He must have interrupted dinner. Brown has done time in prison and rehab for various combinations of drugs and guns, but this time the police say the charges will be dropped. Something tells me we’ll be hearing from him again, however.

Finally, David Bowie has some troubles of his own. Besides dressing like a teenager and looking like a fool, I mean. A similarly middle aged woman (and self-proclaimed "poet") insists that Bowie’s ’77 single "Heroes" is based on a poem she gave him three years earlier. She will be suing, and claims she has in her possession documents that prove he committed plagiary. They include the smoking gun—a diary from 1973! Bowie called her a "silly girl". Though the same could be said of him.